by Megan McDonough
My friend committed suicide. I’m writing these words to help myself since I can’t help him. I want to honor him by making sure you know the role he played in Wholebeing Institute. Whether you knew John O’Neill or not, I want to declare the legacy he left us … to say now what I guess he couldn’t see or hear or feel when he was alive: John, you matter.
I knew John for almost 20 years, but it was the last six or so that we really got to know each other. I was hired as a consultant at Kripalu to start their online learning program. The project was the CEO’s idea, but it was John I worked with to make the idea come to life. It was in John’s office that we mapped out the computer system on the whiteboard. It was John who connected me to people in each department that could move the parts forward. It was John who was my constant ally in the throes of a new startup within the demands of an existing business.
That program was the Certificate in Positive Psychology.
John and I were not at all alike. He was contained and methodical. I’m action-oriented and verbal. He had much greater staying power with meetings and discussions than I do. John gave so freely to me as I navigated the unknown. I looked to him for his grounded, institutional knowledge—he was part of the original ashram three decades ago. He knew where the levers were.
Wholebeing Institute was born out of that very first successful CiPP. And we have John to thank for that.
He was the first person, along with the CEO, that I told about the new organization Tal and I were co-founding. John’s genuine well wishes, his understanding of the opportunity, warmed me. And his caring didn’t stop there. When we needed to wrestle some contractual details, he took the two-hour trip from Kripalu to my house. He stayed for more than four hours, taking the time to talk it though. I remember him rocking in the chair on my front porch, sipping iced tea. He was patient and kind. I enjoyed our time together. I hope he did, too.
I spoke with John the day before he headed out to California for a new job. He sounded excited. I wished him well. I didn’t know that was going to be our last conversation.
So now you know. John O’Neill is not a name you see front and center. But the organizational DNA of Wholebeing Institute holds his imprint.
Thank you, John.
John, for reasons only he knew, did not share his pain with anyone. Apparently, that’s not unusual. Crisis Text Line offers 24-hour-a-day, free, confidential support when you text HELLO to 741741. Please share this with others so more people can get the help they need.
Megan McDonough is CEO of Wholebeing Institute, an educational organization co-founded with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. WBI is committed to spreading ideas and practices that can help individuals and groups live life to its fullest.
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Meagan – no words – all heart
Thank you Meagan. This news completely took the wind out of me and your thoughtful tribute brought me back immediately to my friend and colleague John, who was a good soul and someone I will miss.
What a tragic loss and a lovely tribute.
Megan,
My heart goes out to you and to your friend John’s family. Thank you for sharing about his role in bringing about this wonderful program and for your honesty about the tragic circumstances. Your words help give us all permission to talk about difficult events with honesty and compassion. Thank you.
Megan, thank you for sharing this.
John, thank you for helping make this program happen online.
Megan, my heart goes out to you and all who held John dear to them. I have known too many people who have been devastated by suicide and the pain one must be in to make such a permanent choice. I trust that John did benefit deeply from his work with you. May his legacy live on in all he touched in this life.
Thank you, Megan, for sharing. A reminder for all the special people who have contributed to CIPP, and to each of our lives…and be grateful for all of them.
Thank you, John. Thank you, Megan, for sharing the significance of John’s role. Peace to your heart.
John brought a group of volunteers from Kripalu to Muktidham in Sumneytown PA (where Swami Kripalu lived while in the US for 4.25 years). We cleaned and planted trees and sweated and chanted and shared good food and stories. His heart was so full of love for the lineage and he was dedicated to the Path of Love. I lost touch over the past few years since he would not return calls or emails. I am deeply saddened and appreciate your tribute. Sending big love and prayers.
So sorry Megan.
Such a beautiful tribute. Hugs
I thank you, John, Tal and many others for making that first CiPP happen, I was a beneficiary of the magic. Since then, and apparently with John’s continued help, you’ve built an amazing institute and brought the message of Whole Body, Whole Being and Positive Psychology to so many people it’s astounding! John had to have been proud of his role in such an amazing force for good in the world. Your tribute to him is very touching and I’m sure he’s proud of you.
This hurts me a lot. John was a friend and my boss at one point while at Kripalu. He gave me an opportunity at having a leadership position at Kripalu and I am forever grateful. I remember going to his office and saying to him, “Let me tell you why you need me in this position”, and from there he was a mentor. He said to me (which I have always remembered), “you make me excited about customer service and that is not my favorite thing”. When I was overwhelmed with my job, remembering what he said kept me going. Thank you John. So much love and light from the Moodie family (Joel & Carla)
Thank you for letting us know what a wonderful person John was, and how important he was to you, the organisations and to do many others. My heart goes out to everyone who knew and loved him.
Megan you have honored John with your words.
Thank you for honoring John’s role in this organization which has touched all of us. And thank you for letting others know that there is support available when things feel dark. Each one of us matters deeply, and sometimes we need someone else to remind us of that powerful truth.
Thank you, everyone, for your words.
Megan, I am so sorry for your loss, you know I love you and right now I’m wrapping you up in these big Italian arms of mine. What a beautiful tribute! I will say a prayer of thanks to him as well, being a recipient of his talents at Kripalu.
After just spending last week at Kripalu participating in the Postive Psychology Coaching program, I too feel saddened about this news. I join all in giving thanks for his life and contributions to Kripalu and WBI. My prayer is for ease of suffering for all beings everywhere. Namaste….
Megan, thank you for reminding us always of the profound impact that is possible through our commitment to joining with others as they are brave. I am so sorry for this loss for you and for all of us who knew John. May his memory, even as it ended in pain, serve for each of us as a blessing.
Thank you for sharing Megan. John taught me so much in the 7 years that I worked with him. Yes he drove me crazy sometimes but isn’t that what happens with family? We love them and we make each other crazy. Yes…I did consider John and the rest of the Finance team like family. John was so smart and so patient. He was passionate about what he did. I was so sad to hear about his passing. I wish he reached out. I would have been there for him. He was there for me. He was so supportive when I was first getting sober. He visited me when I was in treatment. He supported me when I needed to take time to get to AA meetings and therapy. I wish I could have done the same for him. I will never forget him. I still share accounting things he taught me with the people I work with now. Lastly…he introduced me to you. I was proud to be a small part of the project. He and his family and the larger Kripalu family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Dear Megan, Thank you for this beautiful tribute to John (sorry for the delayed response.. I’ve just had a tragic/sudden death in my family.. sigh). I’ve worked with John for many years, and CiPP being one of the most interesting and (system wise) challenging, where you and I got to work together as well. I want to share what I posted on a private FB group: He has been in my life as a brother who teased me in my initial awkward days at Kripalu, back in the late 80’s, since then we have worked together on many projects for Kripalu and most recently at 1440. I experienced his strength and intelligence, humor and resilience with change. I will always remember how he flares his nostrils when he’s challenged or coming up with a pithy remark. We have weathered highly stressful times where we may not be at our best – but there has always been a mutual respect that survived it all. I will always appreciate the opportunities I had to develop process improvements via projects he assigned to me. I will feel grateful for the day he, Latika and I spent together at the Monterey Aquarium on Sunday, June 4th. I know this may seem mundane, but for me, it’s through collaborating, taking risks and being real through all this creates the connection I so appreciate. John, I am so sorry you felt so utterly defeated, you didn’t deserve that.
I don’t know if this still an active page but I wanted to post a comment about John. We lived in a cooperative house together in 1981-82 in Philadelphia. He became a dear friend for many years. We lost touch in the late ‘80s and I am heartbroken to learn about his passing. It was wonderful to read about the tremendous impact he had on so many people whom he worked with at Kripalu and in supporting your business, Megan. He will always have a special place in my heart.
Best wishes to all, Naomi