by Ruth Pearce
There is a lot of magic and miracle work in coaching. And the art and science of coaching are much misunderstood and often underestimated. It is not just the way the coaching process works but the very idea of a coach. We may look as though all we have to do is sit and listen and ask a question now and then. In fact, we are admonished by our training not to do too much of the work. “Leave the work to the client,” our trainers tell us. The truth is that there is plenty of work for the coach. But what does the coach actually do?
We keep time—and not just minute by minute so that we can abruptly interrupt your flow with a brash “Our time is up.” We let you know where we are and check in on progress. As much as we can, we bring the session to a “soft landing,” leaving you with things to think about, maybe act upon, but not leaving you hanging.
We listen for themes—insights and topics that come up again and again.
We observe and highlight shifts in energy—excitement, lethargy, enthusiasm, and dismay.
We maintain a safe space for whatever you want to express, which is sometimes a rollercoaster of emotions.
We keep your secrets, always honoring the confidentiality and trust of the relationship.
We remind you of your goals and help you adjust them any time you change your mind.
We focus exclusively on you until it is time to stop.
We stay connected with your story between sessions and connect the dots throughout the arc of the coaching relationship.
We tailor our approach to take account of the uniqueness of you.
We temper personal curiosity (“Tell me about your job”) while using curiosity to expand your awareness (“What do you need me to know about your job for me to be helpful?”).
We look at things from your perspective while inviting you to look at things from a different point of view.
And, believe me, it takes more energy to withhold an obvious piece of advice than to share it. But we know that as tempted as you are to ask for the solution, your success will feel sweeter when you come up with your own plan.
We challenge, encourage, and cheer for you, and we celebrate your wins. And then we reset and do it again for the next client.
I wish I could more effectively communicate the value of coaching and the investment we make to be good coaches. I make the case for coaching to coaches all the time. I have been privileged to train more than 60 coaches in my career!
As a coach, I learn a tremendous amount from my coaching clients. Through my clients, I have learned about changing my mindset, changing my habits, identifying what is meaningful in life, making healthy choices, learning to let go—and the list goes on. It is not because I did not know the theory behind these things and more; it is because there is a big gap between the “what I want/need to be and do” and the “how I am going to get myself to do it and be it.”
My wonderful coaching clients have shown me not just where the path is but how to walk it while wearing the wrong shoes and having left my compass at home. As a result of my interactions with my clients, I have changed my eating, drinking, exercise, and sleeping habits. I have narrowed my work focus, identified what matters most to me, and put my energy into those parts of my life. I have made tough choices and built greater resilience and stamina. I have seen how my clients have struggled and succeeded—or adapted—and this has inspired and informed my own journey. For the sake of yourself and your future coach, I hope you will embark on the coaching journey. Both of you will benefit!
This post is excerpted from Be Hopeful, Be Strong, Be Brave, Be Curious: How Coaching Can Help You Get Out of Your Own Way and Create a Meaningful Life, by Ruth Pearce.
Ruth Pearce
Ruth Pearce is a distinguished coach, mentor, and speaker with over a decade of experience and two impactful books. Her latest, Be Hopeful; Be Strong; Be Brave; Be Curious (Wiley, 2024), explores coaching from dual perspectives. Ruth’s coaching spans Fortune 200 companies, nonprofits, and government sectors, and she created the In It Together Coaching program to aid pandemic-displaced workers. A seasoned speaker and LinkedIn Learning instructor, she covers topics like bravery and burnout prevention. Ruth’s transition from a 25-year project management career to coaching followed a personal burnout. She is an ICF PCC and European Coaching & Mentoring Council Senior Practitioner. For more information, visit Pearce Insights or contact her at [email protected].
