After 50 years around the sun, I have learned a few things. Aging gives the superpower of life experiences and observations. Below is a compilation of 50 things I have learned over my life so far. I hope this list helps you as you live your life and maybe come up with your own list. My hope is that I continue to grow and evolve beyond these 50 years.
- Life is stranger than fiction: My mom has always said this and the longer I live, the more I agree.
- Bravery is in the eye of the beholder. I used to think that I wasn’t brave. But in reality I am just brave about different things. I am fearful and I am brave—as we all are if we look closely.
- As the great Erma Bombeck said, “I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.” Take care of yourself and give yourself the rest and time you need.
- Relationships are hard work if you want them to be meaningful and evolve over time.
- Having a dog is life-changing and can transform a family.
- If you are in a role to help other people, make sure you are working on yourself, too. Healers need to work on their own healing.
- Each stage of parenting pushes us to grow in different ways.
- It took me way too long to develop boundaries.
- Don’t go on a diet—ever. I mean that.
- If you don’t like a book by page 50 put it down. Life is too short.
- Don’t buy fancy things that will make you nervous in your own home or nervous with guests, children, or animals.
- Save your money for important things that really matter to you—your health (emotional and physical) and your passions.
- If you wouldn’t place vanity as a life priority, don’t live that way (and be careful if you have euphemisms for this).
- Love a book, a show, a song—even if everyone around you hates it. I have found this to be harder than it seems.
- Develop shared interests with your spouse. This is essential when the kids grow up.
- Take baths—they are fabulous and free! (This may be my most controversial tip on here.)
- Be generous with your time, money, and attention.
- You cannot force people to like you. If it is not mutual, move on.
- Find joyful movement: hiking, walking, dancing, yoga, axe throwing, bowling …
- Throw away your fitness and sleep apps; not everything needs to be measured.
- Have family meals often, and keep them informal and relaxed with an abundance of food, whether it’s pizza, fast food, stew, caviar, cereal … whatever works.
- Watch the dumb shows your kids love. And it doesn’t count if you complain.
- Learn about introversion and extraversion. Read Susan Cain’s Quiet for more info here.
- Go to therapy. I cannot imagine my life without it.
- Figure out what gives you energy and what drains your energy. This is a very personal thing. Once you know this, you can make sure you have a balance as best possible.
- Fear-based decisions usually steer us in the wrong direction.
- Life is not a race. Find your own pace.
- The things that most attracted you to your spouse will also be the things that make you want to kill them. It’s just inevitable.
- Grief is complicated and unpredictable.
- My lack of patience has been both my best and worst quality.
- A speed limit is a suggestion—you don’t have to go that fast (another good one from my mom).
- My kids tell me I am not funny, which is pretty devastating, but thankfully I surround myself with people who keep me laughing.
- You do not need to know what you want to do when you go to college. Arrive with curiosity, an open heart, and a desire to learn.
- Talk with older people. They have lived more life and can share so much wisdom.
- Be careful who you follow in real life and on social media.
- Anger is a powerful emotion. Feeling it is inevitable; what you do with it is a choice.
- Keeping your head in the sand is not a strategy.
- Be careful of the energy you give off in the world; there are some of us who feel it strongly.
- Take the word “flattering” out of your vocabulary. Wear what you love.
- Do puzzles.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. There is often a more generous way to interpret someone’s actions (this one can be a doozy, I know).
- Let yourself experience joy, connection, hopefulness. It makes life so much more pleasant.
- When you are uncertain, look inward before looking outward.
- Build a village when raising your kids. A community makes the job easier and way more fun.
- We are blessed with a rainbow of emotions—let yourself feel all of them.
- Speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.
- Resentment is a powerful warning sign. Pay attention and ask yourself what is going on.
- Vote.
- Take your kids on a march, have them write postcards, canvass, and read the news. Keep them connected to what is going on in the world around them.
- Embrace aging. We have no other choice. Besides, I like myself more and more with each passing year
Amy Alpert
Amy Alpert, a graduate of the Certificate in Positive Psychology, is a solutions-focused coach with a practice based in positive psychology. A former human resources executive at Goldman Sachs, she holds a master’s degree in organizational psychology from Columbia University. Learn more on Amy’s blog at amyalpert.com.
